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Inspired by the honesty post down below 1. I rarely if ever go out to bars or clubs anymore. If I do, it's either because someone I know is going to be there, or I've got to pee.

I don't care if you do, just don't find some guy, trick with him, come down with crabs, and then give it to me. Cuz if you do, that's a guaranteed deal breaker. Crabs are never good.

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I to sing. I do it often and loudly, and I don't care where it happens. Deal with it. I to eat.

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I do it often and. I like food from the most exotic to the street vendor.

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I like trying things I've never tried before no matter how strange it sound. I fucking hate to exercise, and find nearly every excuse in the world not to.

You came into this knowing I had a less than perfect body. Chances are I won't like your friends.

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I won't tell you to spare your feelings. But if they fuck with me even once, I'm opening my big mouth. I enjoy sex.

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I like it drunk, sober, with a full belly, first thing in the morning, before we got to sleep. I hump your leg if you're not in the mood.

I top and bottom and in-between. I kiss you first thing in the morning.

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Morning breath means nothing to me- on your end or. You have a cuddling time of 15 minutes.

After that, intimacy becomes awkward for me. I however use you like a body pillow when I sleep and throw my leg over you.

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If you me stupid even once, expect me to break your nose then break up with you. I like 41636 nude girls. Back hair does not offend me.

Please don't shave the hair off your chest. Because if you do, I'll let every last hair on my poonaner grow back so that you'd need a weedwacker to find my hole. I watch Spanish soaps between the hours of pm and pm.

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Do not expect to Best man Stoupa date with me Monday through Friday at these hours.

I not answer the telephone or the door. Follow all these rules, and your stay in Cunti-land be a pleasant one.

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